Ok,,,, today was supposed to be a productive day. Yuppers,, woke up all chipper and raring to go, Deep breath,, yea,, what a wonderful day.
Gots a fresh cup of coffee,, check the local news,, yup,,, Got a good feeling. I finish my coffee,, head outside,, gonna get some weed eating done and get them pesky weeds along the edges of the trailer. Piece of cake, Gets out the ole weed eater,,, fill the premix up, push the primer bulb, squish,squish,squish,squish,, set the carb lever on choke,, grab the handle with finger on throttle and commince to pulling the starter rope,,, brap, brap, brap, brap, brap, whew !,, push the pimer bulb again, squish,squish, squish, squish,squish,,, Hold throttle full open,, pull the starter rope again, brap, brap, brap, brap, sputter, brap, brap, Push the primer bulb again, squish, squish squish,, Full throttle again, pull the rope, Brap, brap, brap, brap, brap brap,, ARGGGGGGGGGGGG ! Throws weed eater across the yard. Cussing the normal guy words,, and making up a few new ones in frustration. Fine,,,, the push mower should get most of them,, Drags out the push mower,,, tops off the fuel tank, checks the oil,, all good,
Sets the throttle to choke/run,, grabs the pull rope and pulls,, whirrrr, whirrr whirrrrr whirrrr, sputter bark, pop, sputter. Checks primer bulb,,, gives it a couple pushes,, squish squish,, pulls rope several more times, Whir,, whirrr whirrrr whir,, sputter pop, bark, back fire, sputter wheeeeze, ARGGGGGG,,, looks at hand,, pealed skin from pull rope and dislocated shoulder. Argggg,, flips mower on its side,, kicks it,, ouch,, thinks I just broke 2 toes, Leaves it be,, goes inside to catch second wind, Grabs a soda from fridge,, drops it,, reaches down to retrieve it and on way back up, catches the freezer door while holding fridge door open, and puts a knot on top of the head, forcing head back down to face plant at least 3 shelves in the fridge. Backs up and shuts fridge and goes and sits on the couch,, pops the top on the soda,, Whooooosh,, can explodes fizzies like Mount saint helens,, soaking everything within a 10 foot area, including saturating the ceiling really well,, I lean foreward trying to control the fizz explosion and leaning to far, falling foreward and face planting the floor, creating a golf ball size knot on the forehead. So I lay there, in my own drool,, reaching up and feeling the knot grow from a golf ball size to a grapefruit size,, and finally attempt to get up off the floor and get to hands and knees and about to stand up, when I clock the ole bean on the bottom of the dining table. While attempting to expell a cuss word Face is firmly planted back down to the floor with a groan. I lay there for a moment,, drooling on myself after almost rendering myself unconcious and I slide back, look around carefully and slowly get back on my feet,,, feeling a bit woozy, I rub forehead and that knot is defintley the size of a grapefruit and the knot on the back of the head is the same size as the first knot,, approx, the size of an orange, So Im standing there resembling a punching bag,, I realize Im soaked from head to toe in sticky soda, I figured, a quick shower and I be good as new,, I jump in the shower,, got the water running and run outta hot water,,, after doing at least 3 months of cardio trying to get away from the cold spray, I crash thru the accordian shower door and fall out of the shower onto the floor. I lay there, half frozen and exhausted from that cardio workout. Wife gets home,, and she needs to use the bathroom and opens the door and says hello,,, I look up and say hello,,, She asks you ok? I reply sure,, couldnt be better. She says ok,, I let you get dried off and dressed and closes the door.
If she didnt have to use the bathroom, I think I would have just stayed there the rest of the night. So,, how was your day?
BTW,, This is only humor,