Been off here a couple days,, besides getting poofed from weather issues when storms blow in. I got out and did some tinkering and maintenance,

I recently replaced the propane regulator and auto switch.(automatically switches from one tank to the next with a twin tank hook-up,) Other then having a bad case of COPD, and enough hardware in my neck and back to be considered semi bionic,, I worked through the difficult breathing and pain from cold steel inside me,, It especially sucks when the weather is windy and cold with the added wet.But things need to get done,, Both 5'ers are up for tags and with tags, comes inspection,, AGAIN. uggggg.  Why can't you call them and you just tell them, yea, the lights work,, it rolls,, nothing dangling off the sides etc,etc. But nooooooooo, They want you to hook up and drag it all the way down there for them to ask,, do the lights work,, do the brakes work,,,does it roll straight,,? and it looks as if you have nothing dangling off the sides. Well duh Einstien.

If you have ever full timed, and your state requires a yearly inspection,, You know the routine.. You must bring your happy self and lifes pleasures of relaxing to an abrupt halt. Take everything thats all purdy off the shelves, off the counters,, take the pictures of family and even the ones of people who you have no clue who they are, but the frames look good ,,off the walls. Secure the dishes so they dont become crumbled shards banging around in the cabinet. Yes,, some of us skip the fine PLASTIC china for the good stuff, Correll.  lol...

Dont forget the fancy spice rack on the counter or the wall,, because according to Murphys law,, they WILL get tossed around and you know that if that Oregeno jar breaks open and scatters all over,, that will be the time the State trooper pulls you over for something stupid like not having tail lights or something trivial. And of course he will want to look inside,, and nothing says your going to jail due to having oregeno all over your counter top. (I let you think about that for a moment). Ok,,, now you have to go outside and disconnect that 50 foot sewage hose that you have attached to a gradual down grade made out of 2x2's and lots of duct tape. Then get out your 2 pipe wrenches to pry apart the hose fitting connection that has become one due to the elements. Then you get the truck backed under the hitch and connected,, lower the front jacks,, MANUALLY, because your onboard battery is DEAD,, Someone forgot to reconnect the battery cables to it the last time they checked it,, Not naming names.

So you get out the Manual hand crank, You start cranking away,, and this landing gear system is a 1 to 500 gear ratio. You spend 20 minutes spinning away, crank, crank,crank,crank,crank, whew!!!  crank and crank and crank,,, whew!!!!,,, You stop to catch your wind, and notice, You have LIFTED the trailer UP a good 2 inches, DANGGGGGGGG. Wrong way. Your still trying to catch your second wind, occasionally attempting to yack up a lung or another vital internal organ.You get back to that crank, and you crank the opposite direction,, crank,crank,crank,crank and after about 300 revolutions,, your pretty much where you originally started from. AHHH Progress at last. Your hacking pretty good about now, and your seriously thinking you have dislodged a kidney or possibly a spleen,, but you continue on. Crank, crank, crank, crank crank,, Finally, after 35 minutes and enough revolutions (to possibly equal how many times the space station has circled the globe)., you get the pin to hit the hitch. click. and locked.

About this time you should have fallen over backwards, pretending to be suffering a heart attack so you can get sympathy from a neighbor to maybe come over and give you a hand.. No such luck,, so you drudge forward. Your pretty much winded,, and with the hacking, you pretty much know for sure a lung is dislodging about this time and it wont be long and it will be visable.

You stop to get your second wind and a flash back of what the dr said,, dont over do yourself, take it easy..  Yea,, ok, gotcha,, You head to the back of the trailer and see the lawn chair,,and hmmm,, dr was right,, so ya plop your happy butt down in the chair, and wellllll  lets just say,, your 5 minute relax fest now puts you 2 hrs behind schedule. But it was ONLY a nap. You grumble as you get back up and notice the sun is way way over on the other side of the sky, and think, wow,, that was a long 5 minute nap. You get the rear landing gear up,, REMEMBERING to turn the jack bolt in the correct direction.

See,, Not as stupid as I look,,  ok, well, maybe a little bit.

You go and start the truck and turn the lights on for a quick light check,, you walk around the trailer a couple times and NOT one single light is working... Grrrr, you about pull your hair out.. You grumplily dig through your tool box and grab the multi-,meter..and a philips screw driver. Your going to figure this out,, even if it kills yas,, and at the rate your breathing and hacking and yacking,, it just mite happen.. Can you say, Blood pressure climbed a little? You attempt to remove a light lens and then you realize,, grrrr its one of those square RV screws.. Who the hell thought this idea out? What happened to the good ole fashioned philips screw head? You go back to the tool box and find the square head tipped screw driver and you go back and finally get the lens off. You set the multimeter up and attch the probes and nadda, ziltch. Grrrrr.  You just want to throw something, but you dont have the energy. You go inside and grab a cup of cold coffee and NUKE it to scaulding hot and try and take a sip without burning your lip completly off, then head back outside to further survey why the lights dont work. Heck, they worked 3 months ago. Hmmmm, maybe the multimeter is bad. You go to the front storage compartment to retrieve another one and as your getting the compartment door unlocked you keep getting snagged in a big power cable,, what the hell is this? as you swing it out of the way,, You get the door unlocked and opened and get your meter out,, shut the door and turn to go find the problem with the lights and get snarled up in that stupid power cord again.. What the H** ? You grab it to roll it up, out of the way, then it hits you like a lead balloon,, an ULTIMATE Brain Fart moment,, the utmost DUH  of DUH's. This is the moment that you look around and make sure no one can see you. Then wonder if your still flexable enough to kick your own Butt.You sheepishly take the cord and find the end of it and there the problem,,, LOL you take the plug and insert it into the power supply outlet on the truck, clicked and locked,, and you step back and its a MIRACLE,, (can almost hear a choir of angels singing over head), The lights work. they are all glowing bright.

Your still trying to figure out how to kick yourself. You finally settle for smacking yourself on the back of the head. I have now proven, Temporay stupidity is cureable,,I now have to crank in the slide out,, OH BOY, more fun with that hand crank and the crank ratio of 1 to 500. Can I fake a heart attack now?  So I spend about 15 minutes cranking my ass off and walk around to see my progress,, 2 1/2 inches, Yea,, we making progress now,, Just another 4 days,and 31 hours and I should have it fully in.(right about now your thinking on the math of that). Admit it,,, you did,, dont deny it, lol. I havew to take a breather so I go inside and sit at the dining table, next to the door and sipping my now luke warm coffee and look on the wall at the array of switches,, Hmmm, they control lights and such, and then there is that ONE switch NO ONE knew what it was for. Should I push it? Should I ask Willy Wonka first? I cringe and squint my eyes and click the switch up,,, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK, comes from under the tv cabinet. What the hell was that,, a pretimer to a bomb? Im holding my breath,,, its very very quiet,,, and nothing happens. absolutley nothing.

Out of curiosity, I open the cover that covers over the slide controls, and just push the button ONCE,, THUD,, I freeze, what did I break now? Then I hear a whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, and the couch seems to be getting closer,, whoo hoooo, the slide out is sliding IN..It comes all the way in and stop, then I hear that click,click,click again, the silence. I carefully switch that UNKNOWN switch to the off position, and hear one more click. (makes mental note to mark that switch to say, master power to slide control). Nowhere in the user manuals that I have mention anything about a master power switch, At least I solved the mystery around that switch, and didnt even have to ask Willy Wonka.  I get up,, buckle in the truck and head down to get the RV inspected,,, I get down there,, and the guy walks out and what does he do? He asks, do the lights work? the brakes work? Nothing broken and dangling loose? Nope,nope,nope, and possibly another nope,, he goes ok,, we are good to go,, We heads inside to pay the $15 and get my copy of the inspection reciept and I get to head home, to reverse the process.. Life is good,, unless Your old, and tired,,, then it sometimes becomes a chore. And on a Brighter note.. I dont have to do this again till next year,,,, Oh boy I can't wait.

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Comment by Dawn Michelle on February 26, 2017 at 7:30pm

I laughed all the way through this.  I know it sure couldn't have been funny at the time, but ....

And, now, I'm thinking...hmmm, do I need a square head screwdriver???  Because my superpower is procrastinating by ensuring I have EVERY tool for the job before I do it :-)

Comment by Rich Thomas on February 26, 2017 at 10:33am

Probably the best thing coming from this is it's only $15.00. LOL



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