Murphy goes camping.

[Lakota Wolf]

Looking back over the years,, things that go bump in the night, little boo,boo's during vacations,, things like that,, always have a humor coated side. The little things that ,,at the time make you scream words that would make a sailor blush, and at the same time give you opportunity to make up new cuss words. Sometimes the show of anger makes the neighbors close their windows and lock their doors and cower down in the basement,, thinking armageddon has arrived. That point you blow the master gasket.Its times like these,, you find the humor,, Your thinking how can there be humor when the end of the world is apon you? Life at that very moment has come to an abrupt stop.

ok, Lets back up,,, You blew a gasket due to a rookie mistake, But dont feel bad, seasoned old timers still do it to.  The issue at point is a simple campground vacation  No big deal right? Ahh Ha,, but keep reading. It all happened, when *Larry, (using a fictious name for the character), had just woke up from a really peaceful sleep, dreaming of rainbow unicorns and cotton candy clouds. (wow,, thats intense, I need to switch to decaf late at night), ok,, anywhooooooo, 

Ole Larry wakes up all chipper and ready to take on the world with a go get em attitude,,, Nothing can ruin his day,, Hes so happy, it makes his neighbors want to puke, Seriously,, hes really that happy.

Did I mention hes really happy? (scarey ).Ok,, anyway, Larry goes outside, being careful as to not wake up the wife and 2 kids as he soaks in the early morning sunshine and fresh air, He looks around the KOA campgrounds and its quiet and peaceful,, and sees a fellow RV'er across the way and waves, Friendly bunch of folks around these parts.He pulls up a camp chair and before sitting down, gets out his check list for the days entertainment, then sits down and scans thru it as he sips his morning joe. Hes going down the list of things to do etc, looking for something that catches his attention, that maybe the wife and kids would enjoy. He polishes off his coffee and reminds himself, to let the family look over the attractions list and see what catches their fancy,, and he heads back inside. He just gets in and the wife and kids are up and breakfast is being started and everyones in a really good happy go lucky mood.What a great day for adventures he tells them, and they all agree,, what a beautiful day.. lets get started. Alrighty then. Larry heads back out and starts breaking down the rig as mom tidies up inside and the kids make their  beds,,(LOL yea right,, like that ever happens in real life,, right?) And about this time your envisioning the Mrs, in a knee length white frilly dress wearing high heels and pearls. (ok, Mrs Cleaver ). I had to throw that in there for a giggle, cuz I know your waiting for the juicey stuff in this blog. Ok, Larry, gets the lawn chairs put up,, the awning rolled in and the bbq grill all put away. He unplugs the shore power cord and rolls it up nicely and tucks it away. He was about to disconnect the water hose when his wife says to wait a few minutes while she finishes the dishes,, No problem he says, and goes over to the truck and backs it up to the hitch and gets it all connected. He goes back inside and his wife hands him a fresh cup of joe and they sit down and discuss the days adventures, The whole family is involved in the places to go and see. They agree on several activities for the day and everyone heads out the door and pile into the truck,, Look out world, here we come,

Larry locks the RV door and runs over and jumps in the truck, all ready to get this party going. Now pause a moment,,,, You have been waiting for this all the time you have been reading, Deep down,, this is just to easy,,, Real life is never like this. (If you must, you can scroll back up and see if you have missed something,) Dont worry,,you can do that,, we will still be here for you to finish reading,  Have you caught anything with the ongoing scenario? Grin.

Lets continue, shall we?  Ok,, ole Larry, puts the truck in gear and onward they go,, wheeeeeeeeee, Then FWAAAAAP !!!!!!

(Fwaaaaap is a word meaning,,,,, NOT GOOD ). Larry stops, What happened? He jumps out and realizes he forgot the water hose, Grrrrr,, hates when that happens,,He surveys the situation and chuckles just a little as he notices that, that 25 ft water has stretched  to35 feet,

He goes back up to the truck and backs up a little to get slack back in the hose so he can disconnect it,, He gets out and disconnects the hose after turning the water off, and coils it up nicely and tucks it away in the storage bin, Alrighty,, all set,, lets go,, He jumps in, drops it in gear and away they go,,, Hes toodling slowly through the campgrounds as everyone is waving and hollering, when one of the park tennants stops him. He rolls down the window and says howdy neighbor, what can I do for you? The tennant mentions to Larry, hes dragging his sewer line. Larry jumps out and takes a look and by golly, he sure nuff is,, and notices a nice *trail behind him, as the hose is still going glug,glug,glug spewing the contents there in the drive. He quickly slides the gate fully closed and attempts to coil the hose up, only to realize, that as he had pulled away, the hose stretched, ripping small holes thruout the hose and breaking off the end cap fitting, Now picture ole Happy Larry standing there with Sh** from head to toe attempting to coil up a leaking tore up hose. I dont think Larry is all to happy myself,, but thats just me. Well, ole Larry finally gets it coiled and just throws it in the back of the truck, making a mental note to pick up a new one before the next stop. He tells the wife he needs to go inside and clean up and change. He gets inside and finds the soap and lathers his hands up to clean up and flips the faucet lever on, and dang,, no water. Ok, Larry is getting a little peeved, all soaped and no water. He grabs a towel and wipes off the sudsy soap and grabs some clean clothes and does a quick change,, knowing, so much for a shower concept is out of the question,, he will just shower when they pull off at the next campsite.He is also, making a making a mental note to add water to the fresh water tank. The camp neighbors tell him not to worry about the spill, they will rinse it down so he can continue on his trip.. what a bunch of nice folks he thinks,. He climbs back in,, still smelling a little ripe, but with the windows down, makes it bearable for everyone else  .In the back of his mind,, his day started all unicorns and cotton candy and went to sh** in a matter of minutes,, but thats not going to ruin his day,, no sireeeeee. We are going to have so much fun, it will take a month to get the smiles off their faces.

He continues down the lane almost to the campground entrance and waves to the nice manager lady when WACKKKKKK, he hears that dreaded noise,,, meaning something broke that shouldnt have broke but did broke. Ugggg he sighs,, he gets out and there along side the trailer is the remains of his pride and joy TV antennea,,He stands there, trying to remain calm as his eye starts twitching, His hands begin to tremble,, hes beginning to mumble a little,, when he wife gets out and says,, its ok dear, its just an antennea. BOOOOOOOM!,, Yup,, that gasket just blew,, steam rolls out his ears, drool runs down the corner of his mouth and his eyes roll into the back of his head. He spins in a circle, as the clouds overhead turn dark and the wind picks up,,, Birds stop chirping and people run for cover. He goes into a tirate telling her,, only an antennea? onlyyyyyy an antennea?  How can this day get any worse?  Now mind you, when someone says, how can it get any worse, Murphy will step in and show you,,, it CAN get worse.

Larry calms down, wipes the drool from his chin and decides they had better call the days adventures off and just start fresh tomorrow, and signs up for a spot there in the campgrounds for another night.

He pulls forward to swing a u turn to head back into the campgrounds and as he is making the hard turn,, he hears the crunching of metal and stops,(Remember him saying how can this day get any worse?) Well it just did, He gets out and looks at the crumpled metal on the front of the trailer were the bumper decided would be a good place to make its mark. ( I myself think he turn a tad to sharp ). He gets back in the truck and straightens out a bit and finally gets turned around and headed back into the campgrounds,, He finds a nice shaded spot,, better the the one they had the night before and chooses that one and pulls in,, He hears a little scratching and looks in his mirror and its only a twig branch scuffing the side of the trailer,, no big deal,,, but for such a tiny branch, it sure makes a lot of noise. They finally get parked and again set camp, He hooks up his stretched water hose which by the way still works,, plugs in the electric and gets ready to hook up the sewer hose and realizes he needs to make a run to town to get a new one.But that can wait a bit. He unlocks the front door and slides the steps out and steps inside,, wait for it,,,,,,,  Guess who forgot to secure the fridge? Larry stands there looking at the mess on the floor where the contents of the fridge lay. Well thats not good. The wife tells Larry,, go pull the awning out and put the lawn chairs out and I will clean this up and make us some sammiches, and we let the kids go play in the park, Larry says ok, and heads out and gets the awning rolled out and secured and the 2 chairs set up with a nice folding table between them,,, At least things have turned for the better,, maybe we was in to much of a hurry to have fun,, yea, thats it.The wife brings out sammiches and fresh tea and they enjoy the peace and quite. Larry mentions that he needs to run to town and get a new sewer hose and the wife tells him to go do that and she will tidy up the place while hes gone. larry gets up, (brian fart moment) and jumps in the truck, starts it up, drops it in gear and off he goes,, hes on his way.  Now ole Murphy, (Murphys law) reminds ole Larry,,, about, How can it get any worse? Yup,, it just did, Larry fergot to unhitch the truck. (right about now your getting a nice visual)  He not only got the ULTIMATE brain fart, he had full cranial diahrea.. He drags the trailer about 100 feet before coming to a stop,, and within that 100 feet, he managed to tear the awning off the trailer, Stretch that 35 ft, water hose that was originally a 25 ft, apart in the middle, and tear the power cord clean out of the power box.

The steps met an gruesome death on a beauty rock on the edge of the drive, and the wife got to tumble from the front of the trailer, clear to the back. In a panic.. he puts the truck in reverse and backs up quickly,, sending the wife tumbling back to the front of the trailer and turning the trailer at an angle and wiping out the lawn chairs and small table. Larry just sits there, and decides he will just sleep in the backseat of the truck tonight.

Be safe, enjoy the adventure, make memories,

[Russell E Johnson]

LOL, oh ya just gotta love a good storyteller, Thanks Lakota, I enjoy a good laugh.